I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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