i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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