Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
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It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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