is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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