Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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