i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
