dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
