i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
