I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
