I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
