Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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