morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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