I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
