he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize