you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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