God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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