My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
