oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yo dont text me then not text me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
