dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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