I smell stomach acid.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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