I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
