I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
