It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
