You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
