life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
