He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
