It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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