True but thats because hes a fetus.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
