I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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