I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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