Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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