OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
