So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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