You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
