Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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