Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to? http://tfl.nu/2e6r
  Replies (17) Good night (612) Bad night (3525)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ" http://tfl.nu/pk0t
  Replies (41) Good night (15104) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/69i0
  Replies (57) Good night (1427) Bad night (6775)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff http://tfl.nu/0hbk
  Replies (2) Good night (2830) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2675) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka http://tfl.nu/h91z
  Replies (10) Good night (2322) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday? http://tfl.nu/r4ue
  Replies (3) Good night (1805) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning. http://tfl.nu/ffy0
  Replies (4) Good night (3641) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic. http://tfl.nu/24zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1571) Bad night (1426)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work http://tfl.nu/80dk
  Replies (5) Good night (2014) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again. http://tfl.nu/xffh
  Replies (5) Good night (1219) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent. http://tfl.nu/f2ox
  Replies (1) Good night (915) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that. http://tfl.nu/ueu2
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch! http://tfl.nu/w5ox
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking. http://tfl.nu/36vi
  Replies (4) Good night (274) Bad night (634)

Randomize