Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid

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  (540): that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen (703): i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid http://tfl.nu/ez4n
  Replies (8) Good night (1518) Bad night (762)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
  Replies (20) Good night (1454) Bad night (4559)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...

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  (216): you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito... http://tfl.nu/yq5b
  Replies (9) Good night (4473) Bad night (975)
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  (714): View more from California

  i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock

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  (714): i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock http://tfl.nu/oxvs
  Replies (14) Good night (6335) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?

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  (561): Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest? http://tfl.nu/07hk
  Replies (29) Good night (1219) Bad night (5909)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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  (301): they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with. http://tfl.nu/84m6
  Replies (23) Good night (6599) Bad night (1924)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.

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  (843): Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots. http://tfl.nu/fa6e
  Replies (1) Good night (2070) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.

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  (+61): Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking. http://tfl.nu/00hi
  Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (1689)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.

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  (847): hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight. http://tfl.nu/ti0f
  Replies (2) Good night (2034) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.

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  (407): Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30. http://tfl.nu/fgkn
  Replies (13) Good night (853) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo

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  (904): The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo http://tfl.nu/8wcq
  Replies (8) Good night (953) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover

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  (614): It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover http://tfl.nu/1h1b
  Replies (4) Good night (860) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (537): View more from

  Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out

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  (537): Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out http://tfl.nu/ifru
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.

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  (801): My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it. http://tfl.nu/gvpa
  Replies (12) Good night (1725) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.

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  (503): Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/3ufh
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (245)

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