another moral hangover. fuck.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.