i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
