Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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