so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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