are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
