Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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