I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
