Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We're too hungover to prance.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
