Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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