her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
