this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So many bounce houses so little time
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
