I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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