you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
