In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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