You were right. It hurts to walk today.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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