Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
