Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
