Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
