I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
bring money and cleavage
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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