I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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