God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
