I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
