i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
