No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
