I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
