so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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