The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
that may or may not have been my penis.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
