So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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