I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
