There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
