"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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