I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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