I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
